Okay so I was talking to my girlfriend the other day, and she drops this bombshell on me - she wants me to find a friend with benefits so she can, like, play around too. I'm totally taken aback, right? I mean, I thought we were happy, just the two of us. But I guess I was wrong.
So, I'm sitting there, trying to process this whole thing, and I'm thinking, 'Is this even a thing? Can you just, like, ask your boyfriend to go find someone for you to hook up with?' It sounds crazy, but at the same time, I don't want to lose her. I love her, and I want to make her happy.
Anyway, I started thinking about all the what-ifs. What if I find someone, but then I start to develop feelings for them? What if my girlfriend gets hurt, or worse, what if she falls in love with someone else? It's all just really confusing, and I don't know what to do.
My thoughts on the whole friend with benefits thing
Honestly, I'm not sure it's for me. I mean, I've heard of people doing it, but it just seems so... complicated. And what about the jealousy factor? I know I'd be jealous if my girlfriend was hooking up with someone else, even if it was just casual.
But at the same time, I don't want to be that possessive boyfriend who's all, 'You can't do this, you can't do that.' I want to be open-minded, and I want to make my girlfriend happy. It's just hard when it feels like she's asking me to, like, facilitate her infidelity or something.
Has anyone else been in this situation?
I swear, I must be the only person in the world who's never had an open relationship or a friend with benefits. It's like, I've heard of it, but I don't actually know anyone who's done it. So, if you're out there, and you've been in a similar situation, please, for the love of God, share your story.
Did it work out for you? Did you end up getting hurt, or did you find a way to make it work? I'm all ears, because I genuinely have no idea what to do right now.
And can we talk about the logistics of it all? Like, how do you even find someone who's down for a casual thing? Do you just, like, put up an ad on Craigslist or something? (Please don't do that, by the way. That's just a recipe for disaster.)
Okay but, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm just really unsure about all of this. Part of me wants to be all, 'Sure, babe, go ahead and find someone to hook up with.' But another part of me is like, 'Wait, no, this is a terrible idea, and it's going to ruin our relationship.'
So, if you have any advice or stories to share, please, please, please do. I'm literally begging you. I just want to make my girlfriend happy, but I also don't want to lose her in the process.
Anyway, that's my messy thoughts. What about you? Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?
✨ Let's Talk:
Should you prioritize your partner's desires, even if they make you uncomfortable, or is it okay to set boundaries and say no to an open relationship?